R&R

R&R
Yesterday my boss was asking me about my son's sleep schedule. He'll be 1 in a week. (which I can't believe. I told 2 friends that if they were looking for me at his birthday party I'd be sitting on the back deck steps crying into my sangria- more on that later). He goes to bed at 6:30 and wakes up at 6 for the most part. I don't know why he's such a good sleeper (& yes I realize I'm very lucky). At 5 months he just started doing it. He also gave up his pacifier around the same time - just didn't want it anymore. I put it in his mouth before bed one night & he spit it out. I thought it was by accident so I tried popping it back in, but he just spit it back out. Never wanted it again. 

The first five months were more difficult than the next five. I went back to work fulltime when he was 8 weeks old. Cried the first time I dropped him off at daycare. Walked the 2 blocks back to our house sobbing carrying an empty Baby Bjorne. Tried pumping at work so I could continue breast feeding. Was up twice during the night for feedings & my husband was traveling 3 nights a week. We also bought a house. I don't know how I did it. 

My boss doesn't have any children. She said she can't imagine that sleep depravation & stress. I told her I've heard people say "you just do what it takes to make it work." It sounds cliche, but it's true. She told me the only thing she can equate it to is working in an emergency situation where there's adrenaline & harmony of everyone working together to get through it. And when you're done, you take R&R. 

Really? R&R? Where the company pays for your plane ticket & 5 days salary for you to relax & recover. Yeah boss...sounds similar. When's my expense paid R&R from motherhood?